Not dead, just incredibly lost

Hi. It's been so long. I'm not dead, hence the fact I have written this post.
I've been keeping my distance because it means if I'm here then I have to face the facts.
Facing a reality which hurts too much right now. I'm so incredibly fat it is outrageous. I miss feeling good.

My parents tell me to go to the gym- but I don't.
My sister- oh yes, little miss perfect who goes away for a year and gets fat only to come home and go back to being a skinny bitch again, well, even she tells me I need to loose weight.
I know she's disgusted when she looks at me. She's told me so.

My mind is so lost. I feel like I succeeded last year in every way possible, but this year hasn't been going so well.

If I left you in suspense from my last post, well I'm sorry!
What I wanted to say was;
- taking laxitives long term causes chronic diarrhoea, leading to lack of nutrients
- purging damages the lining of your insides. If you start coughing/ vomiting/purging blood, PLEASE get help ASAP, it means there is a hole in the wall, which causes extreme severe blood loss, and eventual death.

I won't be around for a few more weeks, my exams are here!
I've decided to come clean, a new start, I see no reason to hide my identity;

Hi. My name, my real name, is Megan. I live in Perth, Western Australia.
I have brown hair and brown eyes.
On the 1st of November 2012, this year, I will be 21 years old- and that scares the shit out of me.
I'm in my final year of University to become a Registered Nurse.
I will be thin.
I will do ANYTHING it takes.
And I will look like this;

p.s. This new blogger layout is so confusing!

I am being, and have been, completely honest. If you want to ask me anything at all, I will answer to the best of my ability.