Focus

I can feel my mind getting back into thinking thin again. Its great to focus for once, I mean I actually feel focused.
What's helping with the change? Reading blogs!
Reading of other peoples success, stumbles and trails, reminds me that I'm not alone in this journey to thinness.

Opinions please; So I went out the other night for my friends birthday, she turned 20 :)
Anyway I only ever go out (clubbing) once a year on her birthday/ for her birthday weekend.
I fit into my sisters UK size 6 dress!!!!!!!!!! FRICKEN AMAZINGGGG!!! YES!!!!
While a group of us were getting ready, we were talking about this other girl and they were saying how she is too skinny now and has lost heaps of weight and they were worried about her.... then they go and say she weights 58kg's (127.9).

Ok so my question is; do you think this is too small?
Personally in my mind I think she is looking great! She is about my height but is not even showing bones. I don't see a problem.
I said that I didn't think that was bad and my friend said that that was because I don't see the world like everyone normal does. OK what the heck is that supposed to mean?? I do NOT have a distorted way of looking at anyone.

It frustrates me, because they see this other girl we know, like literally an AUS size 4 - probably smaller, who eats like once a day and exercises all the time, and they don't see a problem.

Little (NOT fat) piggy; yes taylor is so darn amazing she is my mega thinspo and all-round great person and general inspiration.

Monday Weigh-In (27th feb 2012)

Yo bitches! :P
Goal one (62.2kg's) Complete!
Weigh in was 62.1( 136.9)

Surgery tomorrow :S  NERVOUSSSSSS but I'll be ok
Great thing is, I will be eating soft food for like 2 weeks!

I've stocked up on weight watchers fruit salad and baked beans and low calorie jelly in 5 different flavours!
I'm making vegetable soup tonight with chicken stock which I hope tastes good.
Lets hope I loose a good amount of weight from this, i think all the pain will be worth it if I do.

I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone on here who comments, you are an immense support and so encouraging, so THANK YOU !!!  xoxo

TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT ON FRIDAY!!!!!! YEW!!!! So so so so excited!

Lost

I'm so lost. Lost doesn't even begin to describe it. Not just with my weight, but also with my entire life. I'm confused and I feel like a complete mess. My emotions are all over the place and I think it's all because of my eating.
When I have a 'fat day' where I feel so disgusted in myself, I go insane and my whole family gets stuck with my appalling mood. The other day, I was so angry over the slightest thing that happened, and I snapped; It was so bad, I was in the kitchen and I was hysterical, so much so that I was very very close to getting a knife out of the draw... and, well, you get the horrible picture.

 University, my final year, starts on monday.
I'm nervous and have a million things running through my mind. They have free services available, one of them is counselling so I think I'm going to give it a try.
If I don't get myself under control, well, my parents said this is my last chance.


Yes, it's almost been an entire month, but I've decided to get devoted again. I've got to give it all I have.
Since christmas I've been struggling. Current weight is around 63kg's.
Here is my new goal guideline;
(Week; Calories requires- in yellow, Weight target for the week)

01	862	62.22
02	853	61.44
03	844	60.67
04	836	59.89
05	827	59.11
06	818	58.33
07	809	57.56
08	801	56.78
09	792	56
10	783	55.22
11	775	54.44
12	766	53.67

A positive note; I've been doing this for a year, and I've kept 10kg's (22lbs) off! 

Are you willing to do what ever it takes?

Are you? Will you really do absolutely what ever it takes to get to your goal?
Well I am. I now go to they gym at least 3 times a week.
I also bought these apps for my Ipod, one tracks my progress, the other is hypnosis.
Rick collins weight loss hypnosis, I have his 'super study' hypnosis and I believe it really works for that so why wouldn't it work for weight loss too?
I remember some of it and it sounded really good, like '..you will eat moderate size health meals... when ever you feel like high calorie, sugary, toxic food you will hear my voice say STOP..' 'you will choose activity over inactivity'
blah blah blah etc etc etc, you get my point.
You have to listen to it at night 6 times a week for 8 weeks to really get the full effect apparently, but I'm willing to give it a go.

I believe in the power of the mind. It's such a power thing. He also gets you to visualise what you want to look like and will look like. It keeps your goal in focus. ( I want to look like that beautiful girl in the black dress)

When I go to hospital to get these 6 teeth removed, I won't be able to eat properly for over a week apparently, see as Ill have a mouth full of stiches. Usually the procedure takes 90minutes... my dentist has asked for over 3 hours!!!!
Well anyway, I've been freaking out for what the heck I'm going to eat seen as everything soft is like a gazillion calories. I found jelly that has like no calories which is great, but yesterday I also found these weight watcher jelly and fruit things which also are really really low in calories which is fantastic.
And soup, I also forget about soup! I'll make my own so I know whats in it.

Don't let your brain sabotage results

So I read this news article entitled 'Don't let your brain sabotage results'
Here is the link, Ok, it may look like a long article BUT it is very very worth it;

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/lifestyle/a/-/lifestyle/8592973/don-t-let-your-brain-sabotage-resolutions/

For those who a lazy (Don't worry, it's taken me a week to finally sit down and read it), I have taken some of the best parts and put them below, BUT the whole article is really good.

"Why are bad habits stronger? You're fighting against the power of an immediate reward," 

It's the fudge versus broccoli choice - chocolate's yum factor tends to beat out the knowledge that sticking with veggies brings an eventual reward of lost weight.

"We all as creatures are hard-wired that way, to give greater value to an immediate reward as opposed to something that's delayed," Dr Volkow said.

Do you always snack in front of your favourite TV show? A dopamine-rich (Dompaine; A chemical which makes, seeks and creates pleasure) part of the brain memorised rituals and routines linked to getting a particular reward, Dr Volkow.

Eventually, those environmental cues triggered the striatum to make some behaviours almost automatic, she said. (Kind of like going to the movies and always getting popcorn)

Researchers say there are some steps that may help counter your brain's hold on bad habits:

-Repeat, repeat, repeat the new behaviour - the same routine at the same time of day. Resolved to exercise? Doing it at the same time of the morning, rather than fitting it in haphazardly, made the striatum recognise the habit so eventually, "if you don't do it, you feel awful", Dr Volkow said.

Reward yourself with something you really desire, Dr Volkow said. You exercised all week? Stuck to your diet? Buy a book, a great pair of jeans, or try a fancy restaurant.

Stress can reactivate the bad-habit circuitry. (Something we all know)

-Cut out the rituals linked to your bad habits. No eating in front of the TV, ever.

Hello there stranger

Hello from a stranger!
It's been a while since I was last on. I apologise. I've needed time to rest.
Update; My sister comes home tomorrow!
Then in 3 weeks we go on yet another international holiday. For me it will have been a whole year since I last traveled outside of the country. I miss it dearly.

My goal is still 55kg's. I aim to be this weight by the time I start university again (27th February). It's my final year (that thought is scary) and I want to look fabulous and feel great about myself.
I'm over wallowing in self-pitty. It's well over due to get up off my arse and do some work!
I'll be going to many different gyms with my sister when she gets settled back in because I know she'll want to loose all the weight she's put on- she's naturally thin so it will be easy for her.
When we go on holiday, even though indonesia basically lives off carbs, the hotel has a free gym and aqua aerobics classes which I intend on going to excessively and I will walk everywhere.

I'm excited for the possibilities of this year.

I'll also be going into hospital (at this stage on the 29th of February) to get SIX teeth pulled, 4 premolars and 2 wisdom!!!!! ARGH I've been avoiding this for so many years. Time to bite the bullet. Bonus; Soft food diet for ages. Bad side; ice-cream and milkshake temptation. When they weigh me before I go into surgery, I want them to be shocked. Hehe my little plan.

Thinspo inspired by the australian heat at this time of the year! I'm seriously melting.

Nothing is impossible.

2012; The year for accomplishments and goal fulfilment.

Learning how to say no;

It’s the first step, well actually the second step, for me getting back into my healthy lifestyle. The first was choosing healthy options to binge on. It’s a work in progress, because obviously I don’t want to be binging at all. Today being the first day of 2012, I found myself actually making an effort to eat better. I still went out to this ‘healthy’ burger place for lunch with my parents, but it was because I wanted to, not for the fact that I wanted to eat the place down. I enjoyed the food and I was able to say no to an ice-cream.

It’s a step in the right direction and that’s all that I can hope for. Tomorrow I hope to go back to the gym.

 It’s 15 days until my sister comes home from overseas. She’s been gone a whole year and I really really want to impress her by looking fabulous, which means loads of hard work to get the weight off of which I’ve gained over the past week. Around 6kg’s.

I can’t give an accurate amount because I’m not getting on the scale. I think it would just make me depressed, so I figure I’m just going to work hard first and then closer to the date I will weigh myself. I’m also contemplating changing my weigh-in days to Saturday morning.

There are pro’s and con’s to this;

Pro; We go out a lot as a family on the weekend so I wouldn’t have to be anti-social or make my parents mad by going and restricting or just not going at all.

Con; I might let myself eat to much on those occasions because I figure it’s ok because I have the rest of the week to work it off.

Don’t know what I’ll do.

I hope this year is a great year for me, scratch that, this year WILL be a great year for me. I wish all of you out there the best year for accomplishing your goals and feeling great about yourselves. Happy New Year everyone! :)

New Year fireworks in Sydney, New South Wales; near the harbour bridge and opera house;