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Tuesday, February 28, 2012


I can feel my mind getting back into thinking thin again. Its great to focus for once, I mean I actually feel focused.
What's helping with the change? Reading blogs!
Reading of other peoples success, stumbles and trails, reminds me that I'm not alone in this journey to thinness.

Opinions please; So I went out the other night for my friends birthday, she turned 20 :)
Anyway I only ever go out (clubbing) once a year on her birthday/ for her birthday weekend.
I fit into my sisters UK size 6 dress!!!!!!!!!! FRICKEN AMAZINGGGG!!! YES!!!!
While a group of us were getting ready, we were talking about this other girl and they were saying how she is too skinny now and has lost heaps of weight and they were worried about her.... then they go and say she weights 58kg's (127.9).

Ok so my question is; do you think this is too small?
Personally in my mind I think she is looking great! She is about my height but is not even showing bones. I don't see a problem.
I said that I didn't think that was bad and my friend said that that was because I don't see the world like everyone normal does. OK what the heck is that supposed to mean?? I do NOT have a distorted way of looking at anyone.

It frustrates me, because they see this other girl we know, like literally an AUS size 4 - probably smaller, who eats like once a day and exercises all the time, and they don't see a problem.

Little (NOT fat) piggy; yes taylor is so darn amazing she is my mega thinspo and all-round great person and general inspiration.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Monday Weigh-In (27th feb 2012)

Yo bitches! :P
Goal one (62.2kg's) Complete!
Weigh in was 62.1( 136.9)

Surgery tomorrow :S  NERVOUSSSSSS but I'll be ok
Great thing is, I will be eating soft food for like 2 weeks!
I've stocked up on weight watchers fruit salad and baked beans and low calorie jelly in 5 different flavours!
I'm making vegetable soup tonight with chicken stock which I hope tastes good.
Lets hope I loose a good amount of weight from this, i think all the pain will be worth it if I do.

I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone on here who comments, you are an immense support and so encouraging, so THANK YOU !!!  xoxo

TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT ON FRIDAY!!!!!! YEW!!!! So so so so excited!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012


I'm so lost. Lost doesn't even begin to describe it. Not just with my weight, but also with my entire life. I'm confused and I feel like a complete mess. My emotions are all over the place and I think it's all because of my eating.
When I have a 'fat day' where I feel so disgusted in myself, I go insane and my whole family gets stuck with my appalling mood. The other day, I was so angry over the slightest thing that happened, and I snapped; It was so bad, I was in the kitchen and I was hysterical, so much so that I was very very close to getting a knife out of the draw... and, well, you get the horrible picture.

 University, my final year, starts on monday.
I'm nervous and have a million things running through my mind. They have free services available, one of them is counselling so I think I'm going to give it a try.
If I don't get myself under control, well, my parents said this is my last chance.

Yes, it's almost been an entire month, but I've decided to get devoted again. I've got to give it all I have.
Since christmas I've been struggling. Current weight is around 63kg's.
Here is my new goal guideline;
(Week; Calories requires- in yellow, Weight target for the week)

A positive note; I've been doing this for a year, and I've kept 10kg's (22lbs) off!