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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Mini Goal

Todays mini goal; no bread after breakfast and no snacking on sweet food/ cakes during the day.
Writing it on here makes it real, solid. I will achieve this, I know I can. I'll continue this post later tonight after prac is finished for the day.

Afternoon Entry;

I totally completed that goal! Yay me!

Replies to comments;
Kes; Thanks :) I think riding back was the hardest part.
Pariis; I will do it again! I'm excited. I have to wear latex gloves on my placement for prac and my hands came out in a rash and mega dry skin thats how I found out. Yeah I weigh once a week, and I've been taking the stairs and doing a bit of walking so the numbers are going down, just very very slowly.
Gianni; Those are actually just before and after photos from the internet, until I actually have improvement to show I probably won't post any of me. And thanks for the motivational words :) Do you have a blog? If so, can you post me the address of it? eg;

Monday, May 30, 2011

Monday Weigh-In (30.May.2011)

Break me out of the 140's PLEASE! This mornings weight; 64.2kg's (141.5). WAY over it. But I'm not giving up. Why? because I'm still loosing- in a good way.
Achievement; Yesterday I went for a bike ride by myself, I ended up doing 14km's!!!! I know right how AWESOME!! I am so proud of myself because I never in a million years thought I could achieve that, well I did! The only reason I stopped was because I forgot water so I was majorly dehydrated. I'm thinking of trying again this sunday to see how things go..
Random fact; Found out I'm allergic to latex.
Best part about today; Remember that blasted Mental Health Assignment? Well I finally got the results back today; 79.5%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh man I was so stoked. I was sure I had failed, then to see that mark, oh you couldn't get the smile off my face.

This weeks goal; To keep loosing! No matter how small the number.

Edit: these photo's are not me unfortunately, just photos I have found, but I'll look like this one day.

Thursday, May 26, 2011


Totally P*#$%^ off. I know I've gained HEAPS this week because I've been eating loads of bread. -_-
I can feel it in my face, thighs and stomach. Especially the stomach, it just pokes out like I'm pregnant.
I don't know if I'll ever get away from 65- 64kg's. It feels like I won't.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Monday Weigh-In (23.May.2011)

Straight to the point; 64.3 kg's (141.8) this morning ( I ended up 64.4 kg's - 64.7kg's last week).
When I started this journey an AUS size 16 (US 12, UK 14)  pair of pants were getting tight on me.
I can officially say that I can now fit into an AUS size 12 (US 8, UK 10) for my top and pants. The pants are still a tad tight around the thighs but they aren't bursting at the seams.
I needed a new pair of pants for my practical placement for university because my size 16 now fall off.. YAY! I ended up finding a pair of 14's which I hadn't warn since high school (2 years ago) and they are loose on me.
I also do volunteering and we have to order a top, last year I ordered a Large- yes it was a bit too big but it was comfortable. This year I ordered a Medium.

I started prac as a part of my university degree today. I will be doing 8hour shifts every week day for 2 weeks, so this week my aim is to eat healthy but to not be too strict on calorie intake because my body will be working hard (I'll be on my feet for most of the 8 hours).
This weeks personal goal; 64kg's (141.1) or less. -- Lets see if it actually happens this time.
I am going to take the stairs instead of the elevator at 'work' (while I'm on placement/prac) and try not to snack on the cakes and biscuits they have for the patients & staff.
I've been around the 64kg mark for too long now and its making me crazy! Bring on the 63kg's!

This will be me because I have that top, I have those jeans, I've had that hair and I WILL HAVE THAT BODY.

I am saying YES to beautiful bones.

Friday, May 20, 2011


I'm fat, disgusting and a pig. I am addicted to food. I can't stop eating.
I don't just eat, when I really want something I won't stop until I not only have it but have it until I feel like I'm going to be sick. I have no self restraint.
I ate 3 subway M&M cookies today. 202 calories EACH. Plus breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I found out today that they are getting rid of M&M cookies, that's why I got them. It was their last batch.. Ever :(    Still doesn't mean I should have had them.

I have reached a plateau, I think that's what it's called anyway. This weight isn't going anywhere. I'm tired of trying, only to get onto the scale and find out I've failed... again and again and again. I went to the gym the other day like I said, then I went for a walk the day after. Today I did like 7 minutes of a 'total body' work out then gave in because I'm not coordinated (mainly because I'm lazy) and it has been raining so all I wanted to do was be in my warm bed.

Does anyone have a good way to get of this plateau?
Exercise is not my friend. I don't want to do any extreme restrictions because I know that will probably lead to binging later. An increase in calories is not an option either because 1. I'm already having too many and 2. It would take too long to get rid of the weight it would put on.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


If you haven't already been there, do so! It's sooo sooo soo soo fantastic. 
This chick is awesome, totally skinny, and has done it the healthy way! Total inspiration. 

Had an ok work out today, the gym I went to mega sucked so I won't be going there again, that leaves me gym-less for tomorrow :(  Good thing is, I didn't stop until I was sure that I would either pass out or have a heart attack. My maximum heart rate when exercising should be 160, I was going above 180 and I could feel my heart beat in my head (if that makes sense), so I really did have to stop. After I finished there is a flight of stairs you have to go down to get out, well I had to take 2 then stop, because my legs were so wobbly! 
I think I might go for a walk before breakfast, then maybe even a swim... I know I'll be sore after today so I'll keep it easy.
Ate a whole piece of fish with dinner, it was too much and I knew it, I should have only had 2/3 instead. Some times I could just kick myself.

79.2 minutes total; I did a bit of cycling, cross-trainer, stepper and treadmill- I really want a treadmill for my house, think of the calorie burning possibilities! but they're just so expensive.
Total calories burned today; 475  

This weeks personal goal; 64kg's (141.1).

P.s. To calculate your heart rate ranges;

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Monday Weigh-In (16.May.2011) thank you for your motivational words, you give me strength when I feel I have none at all. Although it is coming up to winter where I live, I get what you mean, I will look good for winter! 

64.4 kg's (142), I'll do it again tomorrow just to be sure because there is no way I believe that. 
Winter means; comfort foods... :(  lots of pasta, soup with bread.. lots and lots of bread, porridge with skim milk and brown sugar, less day light hours, earlier dinners, cold body, tight top.. oh the tights long sleeved tops, I will look good in them this year. I want to be in the 130's so bad. It will happen this week. I won't stop until it does.

Wilma; I agree totally, when you weigh yourself more, you gain weight. It's a fact (for me at least)

I really have to start planning this weeks meals because I am stuck for ideas.

This weeks thinspo

No matter tomorrows depressing number when I step on that scale, this thinspo will keep me going;

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Do I ever learn?

It honestly feels like I am constantly going one step forward 3 steps back.
Last night I ended up having KFC for dinner. ARGH. This mornings weight; 65.2 (144.7).
Its an endless cycle of fatness. Will I ever break free? I am so annoyed right now.
I'm going for a walk with my parents today so at least that will do something.
I plan on going to the gym wednesday, thursday and friday hopefully.
I feel like I'm never going to get into the 63's (139).

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

My future self.

This will be me;

My hair is longer and is more of a brown red, but one day this will be me.
I will look this beautiful and I won't stop until I do.

"She turned her can'ts into cans and her dreams into plans" 

Monday, May 9, 2011

Hate on Me

“...go ‘head and hate on me hater, ‘cause I’m not afraid.. you can hate on me..’

Yes I am a glee lover.

This song describes how I am towards myself. Confused yet?
Well, it’s like I have split personalities really. Some days I feel like I’m doing well, yesterday I actually thought I could see the person other people say I am and how much weight loss I’ve achieved. I was sick of hating on myself all the time.
Now I’m back to hating what I see.
In a way it’s good. It motivates me to do better, loose more weight and become pretty.

I FINALY handed in my mental health assignment yesterday. Pretty sure it cause me mental health problems :P  I ended up having breakfast before I could weigh myself so I did it today instead.

Personal goal for this week; 64.8 (142.9)
Current weight; 64.3 (141.8)

Verdict; Very pleased. I’m so close. It feels like its taken forever.

My parents are going away in about 3 months and I can’t wait. I’ll be home for ages by myself, which mean I get to control EVERYTHING I eat. It’s going to be great. I’m going to hopefully be 60 (132.3) or less by then.
I have heaps of stuff coming up and then I’ll be away for a few weeks with no internet access so don’t be surprised if I don’t blog- but that’s in July. Like I said, ages away.
My family is going back to the way it was many many years ago, when we were happy. I love it. I missed it.
My parents randomly decided to take me out to breakfast the other morning because I’ve been studying so hard. On mothers day my parents bought me a triple choc muffin mix.... oh man... three things I love combined in one, chocolate, carbs (carbohydrates) and deserts. It’s going to be dangerous when I make these, because I’ll end up eating wayyyyy to many, so I’m not making them until I get a chance to go the gym to burn of the calories I know I’ll eat.
Next weeks personal goal; 63.8kg’s (140.7).

How are you girls?? Where’s your weight loss (or gain) at?

I think this applies to my goal. I wonder if you’ll understand what I mean...
Don’t try and shove a double quarter pounder in your mouth all at once; you will fail. Instead, break it into achievable bite size pieces; You will get there in the end.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Monday Weigh-In (02.May.2011)

 65.2kg's (143.7). It's not the personal goal weight I set myself, but after the week of bingeing that I did it just wasn't realistic to think I would be 65kg's (143.3). Feeling really blah.
This weeks person goal; 64.8 kg's (142.9) or less.
Mental health assignment is taking SO long!!! Can't wait till it's over.

I've been weighing myself every day, like a million times a day, anyway I'm trying to stop doing that because if I see a smaller number it makes choose unhealthy options to eat, because I'm like 'oh ok, well the number is smaller than it was yesterday so I'll go have that cookie now', 'that cookie' then turns into 'those cookieS'. NO MORE.