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Friday, February 25, 2011

Self Frustration

This mornings weight; 67.7.
I started university again today. It was great to get back into it. But on the food front.....
Well stupid me has ruined any chance of that weight staying because I decided to go and eat a whole 1362 calories. I feel utterly sick and frustrated with myself. I didn't even put up a fight. I just let myself eat that extra piece of chicken and those few biscuits and WHAM the calorie count was up.
I feel like there is fat just sticking in my mouth because of all the stuff I've eaten.
Well I guess there will be no party dress to fit into tomorrow. ARGH. I was doing so well and then I destroyed my progress.
I can only imagine what tomorrow's weight will look like. * Sigh *

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

1 step forward, 2 steps back

Monday I was, 68.5kg's and today I'm 68.9! NO! It's supposed to be going down not up!
To be quite honest I'm starting to wonder if this will last. Can I actually make it to my goal weight?
And if I do, will I keep it off or just go gain even more weight?
We'll I'm not giving up yet. It hasn't even been 2 weeks and I'm already feeling like a failure.
But I guess I'm only a true failure if I do give up.

I've been looking at thinspo and blogs for a good hour and a bit so I won't have a home made snickerdoodle (I know!! What a weird name. Google it if you don't know what it is. I think it's american).
It's working because it's almost dinner time and I know I'll be ok after that.
I watch what I eat like crazy at the moment, it's just so I can get used to how many calories everything contains, then it will just get to a point and I'll know without having to look or measure.
I'm getting better, I know a few things; 3/4 cup of fresh raw green grapes = 118, 1 snickerdoodle = 100, 1 skinless roasted chicken drum= 180.
While I'm adding the calories up, I look at some things and think that they are some crazy huge amount, when in reality it's not half bad.

ANYWAY! I have a goal for this weekend! I bought a dress- size L and it almost fits- I'm having trouble doing it up around the area just before my boobs, so I'm hoping by saturday night I'll fit into it perfectly. It's for a friends birthday party, but the dress is kind of skimpy and shows my huge legs and arms so I'll be finding ways to cover them up.
I think my stomach is getting slightly smaller (might be due to the sit up's I now do every day), but my thighs and arms are still a huge problem. I'm buying weights for my arms the next time I get paid but thighs are my biggest problem area and I just don't know how to rid of them!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Mondays Weigh-In.... 21/feb/11

Starting weight 14.feb.11; 70.4kg's (155.2 pounds)

Goal weight for 21.2.11; 70.07kg's (154.5)

Week 1 weigh in 21.feb.11;
Drum roll please..... 68.5 kilograms (151)!!

"Some people dream about success... while others wake up and work hard at it."


Jumped on the scale this morning and to my disappointment 69.4kg's.
I predicted yesterday that this would happen. Argh! Well at least that stopped me from splurging on food today. So I only had 2/3 of my ice-cream, 1 1/2 tsp of milk & 1 tsp of white chocolate, no nougat- this took a lot of self restraint. But then of course karma intervened and decided that, when we went to these peoples house, there would be Indonesian layer cake and it was already served out so I had to have a plate or it would be rude, so I decided only to eat half of the slice. I gave the rest away. It was good, so good, but I stopped myself because I want tomorrows weigh in to be better than todays.
I just finished adding the calories for today; 885. I know right! Such a small amount! I'm getting hungry but its way to late for me to even think about eating so yet again I'm off to brush my teeth and have a cold glass of water and distract myself with a new book.
Lets hope tomorrow is a better day.

 "Discipline is remembering what you want."

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Not good enough

Current weight; 69.1 (152.3)
I was at the shops today and while looking through some brochures I started to notice that I thought the models weren't thin enough. I'm talking the underwear models here, so yes they have nice boobs and a flat stomach but their thighs were not small. They (the models) weren't good enough.
In my head I have this vision of what I will look like, and I'm not going to stop until I get to that image.
I jump on the scale some mornings and even though the number is smaller  I still wonder if the weight is coming off too fast, which then means the number is bound to go up the next day. So I feel like I'm always waiting for it to go back up. I can't just enjoy what the number is today because I'm worried about what it will be tomorrow.
I'm doing well with the calories though, I'm keeping it on average about 1200, 200 less than what it should be for this stage, but I'm happy with it. I'm not hungry- most of the time.
Tomorrow is going to be a bad day for calories because we are going to my favourite ice-creamery & chocolate factory, not to mention the nougat (1 piece of 8g vanilla soft nougat is 35 calories!!! ARGH).

But I've already figured out a plan of action, I will only have 1 scoop of ice-cream and it will be in a cup not a waffle cone, 1 tsp of milk chocolate & 1 of white chocolate will be allowed, and only 1  8g piece of nougat if absolutely necessary.
Wish me luck!

Friday, February 18, 2011


I jumped on the scale first thing this morning and to my surprise I hadn't gained any weight!!!
Even better was the fact that I was under 70kg's! So my current weight is.... 69.4kg's (153)!!!
Oh that just started my day of with pure bliss.
But now as the day comes to an end I am wanting desert... well I say too bad! I will not give in!
The temptation is there but I'm going off to brush my teeth and grab a cold glass of water.
I think deserts are one of the worst carvings (except for carbs), but today as I was cleaning out the food cupboard I found some lite jelly! and it smelled so good as I was making it up so I can't wait for tomorrow night! anyway it is only 7 calories for 100g!! (the normal for that brand is 66 per 100g).

I've been keeping to my 20 sit-ups per day, I can't believe I haven't missed a day, but as of monday-- the next official weigh in-- I am going to add 4 more. It's not much but I think if I slowly increase the amount then I am more likely to stick with it. Small steps!

"I’m not there yet, but I’m closer than I was yesterday."

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Up date

So luckily last nights crisis was averted! Yay me!
Usually I would have gone for it and just gave in, but this time I decided that my life has to change, and yes it was only one tiny chicken kebab stick but why not then? To me it's the little steps that count.
Again my favourite thinspo site also has some great quotes one in particular keeps replaying in my head every time I go food shopping or even when I'm at home and there are carbs around;
"Don't let today's moment forsake tomorrows dream"  I <3 this quote! It sums everything up perfectly and it makes me remember that if I eat that extra bit of chicken or have some more ice-cream,
then I'll regret it tomorrow.
Anyway I'm feeling desperate for a weigh in even though my official weigh-in's (to keep track of where I am on my date sheet) are only on mondays, I'm dying to find out how I'm going.
I am being smart about when I weigh myself because I do it as soon as I get up and I'm always only in my bra and underwear. This way there is no excess food/ fluid intake to be responsible for higher numbers and clothes won't affect the number either.

P.s. Another small step on my part; I've decided to give up my cake baking shows on foxtel (cable TV). It wasn't as hard as I thought, plus it always made me hungry so I'm glad it's gone. I've also been looking up recipes on Jamie Oliver's website, but you have to be really careful doing this because some of the things are just loaded with calories!

Bye for now

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


So as the title explains I am having some trouble with temptation.
I've spent the day with 2 of my closest friends, unfortuntely this has included lunch and dinner.
As I am trying to eat healthier I've been watching my portion sizes and calorie intake, so they are kind of looking at me funny. Anyway at this moment there is a chicken kebab stick that has my name on it and I've already had one so I don't want the other... except I do. So here I am trying to stay away from temptation. I'm going to look at more thinspo and keep motivated. I've also been drinking heaps of water and pepsi max to fill me up. I seriously have no other ideas.

Monday, February 14, 2011

D Day!

"Every achievement starts with the decision to try."
So yesterday was Day 1 of my journey towards being skinny. (14/Feb/11)
As of then here are the stats; 

Weight; 70.4 kg's (155.2 pounds)
Time; 3.10pm

Measurements; (inches)
         Bust; 37
         Under Bust; 32.5
         Waist/ Belly button line; 36.5
         Hip; 41
         Thighs; Left- 25
                     Right- 26
         Calves; Left- 14.5
                      Right- 14.5
          Arms; Left- 13
                     Right- 12.5

I have a fantastic range of thinspo which helps with my motivation. I found this fantastic blog with so much thinso!   ~ just in case you want to have a look!

This mornings weigh in; 70.1 kg's (154.5)

Saturday, February 12, 2011


Today (12/2/11), weighed in at 70.5kg (155.42). 
Total calorie intake for the day; 
around 1063
Exercise; Vacuumed the whole house! 20 sit up's (10 normal, 10 side to side), about 25 minutes of walking around the shops.
Goal; every morning 20 sit ups. 

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I'm back!

Yes that's right, I'm back. It's taken me 2 days to get back on here after I got home, I think it's because now I have to start with the hard work.

I had so many carbs while I was away that I was sure that I gained 3-5kg's.
But.. when I got home from the airport the first thing I did the next morning was weigh myself.
This was more successful then I thought! I was 71.6kg's (157.85)! I did a lot of walking so I'm glad it paid off.

Anyway that was on the  7/02/1. This morning I woke up and felt like weighing myself again and I saw that I weighed 70.6kg's!! (155.65). I know it's only like a kilo but hello! that's the best thing ever!!
I'm not expecting it to last, but man and I trying to keep those numbers going down.
As of monday I am going to take pictures and measurements. Then it becomes official.
I skyped my sister while I was away and she told me to go to the gym.. nice isn't she. Well I want her to be proud of my when she gets home next year. I want her to no be embarrassed around me.
She's my thinspiration.