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Friday, January 25, 2013

I never thought I'd be back here

Two months ago I vowed I would never be back here.
Why? 
I realised I had a problem in 2011 when all of this consumed my every waking thought and moment.

2012 things started to ease off.
That guy I mentioned.. we're dating now.
The scariest part is that he knows. He knows all about this, I told him everything.

The worst part is that he tries to fix me. For a while it worked, I ate 'normally', without major guilt or self destructive thoughts running through my head. He says he likes 'curvy' girls, which just confirms that I'm fat. We all know 'curvy' is a polite way of saying fat. I've gained 3 kilos since we have been together (2 months today).
The best part is that he makes me happy. Happiness is so rare in this world, especially when my world is falling apart around me.
My parents are getting a divorce.
One good thing other than my boyfriend, I am officially a REGISTERED NURSE!

2013
Well, its about new dreams, new beginnings and a new start.
So I'm continuing on, but starting fresh.
Goal weight; 59 kilograms.

2 comments:

  1. ...isn't it interesting how we always disappear for a while, yet come back onto the same path after a while? makes me wonder whether we'll ever be content enough; but at this point, I feel like the lights of the skinny, happy, beautiful times ahead of us shine so brightly it's impossible to turn our heads the opposite direction.

    When times are tough, the only choice we have is to be strong...and actually, there's another option: we can be strong together.

    Much love to you, my darling.
    Let's be strong again. Together, if you'd like.

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    Replies
    1. It's great having someone who just gets it. We go away and think we are alright, but yeah, we end up back on the same journey.
      I want to be happy and beautiful again~ and for me, it only ever happens when I'm loosing weight.
      Thank you for the encouragement. xx

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