Up's and downs

19/1/11

So this is not as easy as I thought! Well actually I never thought it would be easy at all since I love food (too much). Some days are good, others are bad. The funny thing is I've only changed the way I eat at the moment - I haven't added the exercise part into it yet (seen as I don't officially start until I come back from holidays)- but I think I can feel a difference. 

It's probably just my brain making me think that because it's what I really really want, but who knows? I don't think a few days does much. I'll weigh myself tomorrow morning to be sure. 

On the food front; 

Well yesterday I went out for lunch with a friend.. BAD IDEA!.. I had already planned to have sushi for lunch because I new the place we were going to- I'd worked out the amount of calories and everything!-, turns out my friend doesn't like that place so we went somewhere else and I ended up having a kebab. 

Well the good news is that I didn't eat all of it! Yay me! It was a first. My friend kind of picked up that I was watching what I was eating and stuff like that, she was not impressed when we saw a thin girl go by and I said she was pretty, anyway it won't matter because it's truly impossible to get me like that.

I had grapes for breakfast with a few blueberries. I didn't finish those either! Instead I put them back into the fridge for later. I'm just taking one small step at a time. 

I also bought lemon iced tea and green tea with lemon and lime infusion. Well the lemon iced tea was a success, but omgosh green tea sucks!!! I'm hoping to try it again, but this time I'll have it hot instead of cold (last time I put it in the fridge to cool). I've also been drinking cold water, especially during the times I feel like snacking and when that doesn't work I brush my teeth and today I got some sugar free gum to keep me from snacking in-between meals :)

Research

So I've been doing more research and I am devastated to find out that my beloved Oreo's are high in calories- really, what else could I expect?- 3 Oreos 160 calories!!! 

I found a great website which tells me what weight I need to be at each week in order to achieve my end goal! YAY! It even says the exact amount of calories as well!! I love this sight. Tomorrow I'm going to print out my table and pin it up where I can keep track but my parents won't find it. I've decided not to start until I get back (in february). But I WILL start eating less and start to put some of the things I've researched into practice.

Start weight; 73kg’s (160.9) EWW Puke!

I'm going away soon so hopefully by the time I get back this number will be smaller.. even if it's not by much.

The great thing is, I actually felt full! Like really really full. I could have probably eaten ¾ of the sandwich I had for lunch and been nicely full but I felt like I should eat the rest and not waste it.

I really hate to waste food. Especially since so many people in the world get none. I think that’s one of my eating problems. I make sure everything on my plate is eaten even if I’m full. I’m going to change this habbit, even if I will feel guilty.

Today I chucked out half a vanilla (my favourite type) cheesecake, ¾ of a pack of timtams (they taste like crap anyway so this didn’t bother me too much), 1 full packet of mint slices. There is still plenty of junk food- aka chips etc- in the pantry, but because my sister isn’t home anymore there will be less in the house and once those are finished off- by my parents hopefully- there is no need to buy them again.

I’ve been looking at Jamie Olivers’ website for more healthy easy recipes because I do most of the cooking in our house. Some of the things are just so fatty I can’t even look at them, but others are really good.

Things I’m trying to stay away from; Pasta! ( I <3 carbs!), White bread, potatoes- because I now realise how many calories they contain!, rice, pastries, cakes & deserts.

I’m going to start doing the calorie-counting thing because I’m supposed to eat no more than 1600 per day. It will be interesting to see how many I actually eat :S

Breakfast; 1 glass of pepsi max (300mls)

Lunch;

2 slices of Rye bread

lettuce

3 mini roma tomatoes

lamb

mint jelly

margarine (one side of the rye bread only)

Dinner;

1 glass of pepsi max (350mls)

Salad- 2 slices of tomato, lettuce

1 ½ tsp Balsamic vinegar for the dressing

1 1/3 cup Carbonara short pasta

2 tbsp frozen peas

¼ cup of chicken

Other; 1 bite of a white nectarine.. I couldn't stomach any more

I brushed my teeth after lunch so I would snack until dinner came around (I found it on a pro-ana site) and it actually worked! I'm going to do this when I'm able to. Uni is starting up again in just over a month so most of the time I'll be there which will be harder.

The start of something new

I've decided that this year is about me and my disgusting body. It's a mess that needs fixing. Why now? Because it's the perfect time. 
My life is at a cross road; I can either sit around (like I've been doing for the past 6 months!) and get more depressed thinking about how my life sucks, or, I can get up off my fat ass and do something to keep my mind off the mess which is called my life. The great thing about your body is that you can control it.
My goal is to get to 65kg or less in 8 months. I think it's an achievable goal. I would really like to be 60kg's but honestly I doubt I can achieve that. I want my sister to be shocked when she see's me again.


Reasons why I'm doing this;


1. I want to feel good instead of a fat slob.
2. I want people to look at me and be like 'wow, she's beautiful'
3. I need to be able to fit into a pair of jeans without having to jump into them or have a muffin top when there on.
4. I want to be the one people are looking at when I'm out with a bunch of pretty girls.
5. I want to be able to sit on the toilet seat without feeling my fat hang over the sides.
6. Less stretch marks!
7. Less fat = less cellulite
8. I want to tell the difference between my ass and my thighs.
9. I want to be able to wear a dress without wearing a cardigan to hide my flabby arms or 3/4 length leggings/tights to cover my thighs and calves.
10. I want to see muscle and bone instead of fat.
11. I want to be able to buy a bikini and feel good in it- I've never done that, ever! Even when I weighed 55kg's I still thought I was huge.
12. I want to have a gap between my thighs when I stand instead of seeing fat being pushed together.
13. I want a photo taken of my face at any angle and it doesn't show a double chin or huge cheeks.
14. I want to get on the scale and be happy with the number I see.
15. I want to sit down without my legs bulging out on either side.
16. I want to be able to do a sit up without the fat getting in the way.
17. So I can wear nicer clothes
18. I will want to have photos taken of me, because I'll feel pretty and I'll look into the photo and be proud of what I see.
....
There's so much more but for now I need to sleep. Tomorrow will be a big day for me, both mentally and emotionally.