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Saturday, April 9, 2011


I've only ever been drunk once. My- at the time- good friend decided he would take me out and get me drunk. Being a drinking virgin, I must say it took a LOT to get me there. It didn't last more than a few hours because I felt out of control. When I realised that, I drank water like a fish to flush it all out of my system. I have control issues. I always have to be in control, especially of my body, and when I'm not I'll do just about anything to change it. So when people ask me at parties why I'm not drinking I just say that I don't drink. They just think it's because I'm some good girl who plays by the rules, they never read into it. I can't be like the other girls who just go and get drunk and let other people take care of them, because if I don't take care of me, then no one will. 

Never relinquish control, because once you have, even for just a moment, it’s so damn hard to get back. Take last night for instance; I let go and just had fun and didn’t worry... and that made today a food disaster. I’ve eaten so much bad stuff it’s not even funny. I was 66.4kg’s this morning, so I won’t be surprised if on Monday I’m 67kg’s. I’m going to work tomorrow and then I’m going to come home and go for a walk instead of eating lunch. I really want that 66.5kg’s or less for this week. I know I can, I just have to keep reminding myself of WHY I’m doing this. I have the strength and the will power, I just have to dig down deep and find it.

"If you want something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t. you’ll find an excuse."


  1. I don't really drink but when I do it really hits me- I'm sober and then the next I'm not and I hate being like this. I always end up downing loads of water too because I know how I act when out of control from alcohol and it isn't pretty. It's why I don't really drink anymore. xx

  2. wow, good for you for having control. thats a good way to look at things...i feel like i know what u mean by no one will take care of you but you. and good luck, im sure ull reach 66.5 :)